Life Moments for Women video produced by the Film, Media & Social Justice Department
of Mount St. Mary's College.
Song "Women of Today" by Faith Rivera & Beth Eichel, performed by Faith Rivera.
When the doctor walked into the room and said, “You have breast cancer," I didn't know what to say in return.
The first person I wanted to talk to was my sister. She had prompted me to pursue a mammogram and to see my doctor. I am so thankful for her gentle nudging. Doing things for myself just wasn't always at the top of my to-do list. So, it was breast cancer on Friday, and by Wednesday of the next week I had a double mastectomy and reconstruction had started.
The family rallied and came to be by my side, especially my sister. A registered nurse, she has a true gift of healing. It was early in recovery, and I had a long way to go, but I was absolutely determined to beat the cancer and move forward with my life. Still, my sister could tell something was very wrong. Climbing up in my bed, she looked at me and asked one simple question: “What is it?” I had no answer because it wasn't possible to put my feelings into words. “Do you feel like your life is out of control?'' she asked.
I immediately started to cry. I am talking about a cry from the bottom of the pit, the bottom of the soles of my feet. A wail of a cry. For twenty minutes this went on. My sister and husband both just took me in their arms and held me and rocked me like a baby. Then, as quickly as my tears came on, they turned off - but not into silence.
Suddenly, I began to laugh uncontrollably and at anything anyone would say! When my daughters entered the room, they had a very bewildered on their faces as if to say, “Are you okay Mom? What the heck is going on in here?” It was an emotional release long overdue, like the manifestation of the verse, “Those who sow in tears they shall reap in songs of joy.” (Psalm 126:5)
Ever since that moment, whenever my cleansing tears start to flow, I know that Joy is on the way.
~ Barbara Collins
Barbara is a wife and proud mother of six beautiful daughters. A native Texan, she resides in the Hill Country where she is an artist and host of online TV show called Madre Minutes (also the name of her blog.) Barbara serves as an ambassador to the Heart of Haiti through Macy's Department Store.